Along the Parrett and over the Tone: Day 20 of the South West Odyssey (English Branch)

The South West Odyssey was a long distance walk.

Five like-minded people started in 2008 from the Cardingmill Valley in Shropshire and by walking three days a year finished at Start Bay on the South Devon Coast in May 2019.

Mike and Alison T spent the night in their motorhome, the rest of us stayed at the Unicorn Inn, Somerton. Re-gathering at our chosen parking place at the eastern extremity of Langport, Mike looked sprightly but Brian, Francis, Alison C and I were weighed down by an enormous full-English - hopefully we would feel the benefit later.
 

Ready to leave Langport

Our first task was to find the route from the High Street to the bank of the River Parrett. After a false start walking down a dead end, our second attempt was more successful and we soon passed under the railway line on the path beside the wide but scarcely moving river (the Parrett drops 20cm/km between Langport and Bridgwater). We would follow the dry and well-made path along the levee for four kilometres or more. As the Parrett wandered to our left, the smaller River Sowy charted a much straighter course to our right. Beyond, Aller Moor stretched away to the low ridge where the village of Aller stood.



Beside the River Parrett

The River Sowy and the moor were much lower than the Parrett which lay between two metre high levees. Several times we crossed areas of hard-standing; presumably for the pumping equipment used during the floods to heave the water from low-lying moor over the levee and into the Parrett. Cattle grazed on Aller Moor, the grassland looking to have recovered remarkably well from the winter's inundation.



Looking across Aller Moor to the village of Aller

We passed the interestingly named Oath Farm on the far side of the river, swiftly followed by Oath Lock, below which the Parrett is tidal.

Opposite a house in the village of Stathe with a fine stand of willows and a magnificent cedar, we rested on a bench donated in memory of Stan and Doris Gadsby. I have no idea who they were, but I am grateful to them.

Stathe and a magnificent cedar

Crossing the river we followed the East Dene Way along the southern side of a ridge with West Sedge Moor to our left.

Re-crossing the railway line we took Railtrack’s wise advice to ‘Stop, look and listen.’ I appreciate the occasional statement of the bleeding obvious.



Mike crosses the main London to Penzance railway line

Mostly the going was fairly easy, though ploughed fields are hard on the legs. We also encountered a local speciality, v-shaped stiles with some of the vees rather narrow for bulky people to squeeze through.

Although we were on a recognised long distance pathway (the East Dene Way is a 70km circular walk through the levels starting and finishing in Taunton) there was one small section, perhaps no more than 30m long, that had obviously not been walked this year. Waist high nettles posed a considerable threat to those in shorts, which was everyone except Alison. Fortunately Alison was carrying a walking pole – not much use for its normal purpose in this flat land, but handy for slashing down nettles.

V-shaped stiles leading into the nettle patch

While crossing a grassy field a strange honking sound made us all look skywards to see five large, ungainly birds with stubby rectangular wings, long almost dangling legs and gawky necks. Swiftly and confidently identified by Brian and Francis as common cranes, they circled above us for some time. A rare site in this country, though a breeding group is well established in Norfolk, they caused immoderate excitement among the birders, but if I am going to look at birds I would rather observe something with a touch more elegance.

The village of Woodhill retains a functioning pub. We were briefly tempted, but there was far to go and it was early yet, so we nobly carried on.



Through Woodhill

After rounding Stoke St Gregory we were making our way to the highest part of the ridge when we encountered another (or maybe the same) mystery crop, this batch harvested and set on palates to dry. The sticks were surprisingly sturdy, maybe these were hazel for making hurdles. In the absence of anybody to ask we could only speculate.



Hazel? Maybe, maybe not

We followed the ridge towards Moredon.....



The ridge to Moredon with Curry Moor on the right

...where a farm breeds pheasants by the thousand. Most were the Common Pheasant, which I can see at home any day, but several enclosures contained species I had not seen before and have been unable to securely identify.



White Eared Pheasants from China? A bit of a guess.

From Moredon we descended the end of the ridge into North Curry.....



Descending to North Curry

...a smart and prosperous looking village with a church that boasts an octagonal tower with a peal of eight bells. The Bird in Hand was open, offered free roast potatoes on the bar and Otter Bitter in the pumps. We still had a long way to go so we limited ourselves to a single pint.



The Church of St Peter and St Paul, North Curry

Despite our moderate drinking we all set off in the wrong direction, but sanity reasserted itself and we located the correct road to Knapp. We had not thought we were walking particularly slowly, but we were behind schedule so we took the direct minor road rather than the more circuitous field paths. If we had not walked the extra three kilometres yesterday, we would have missed our lunchtime drink and still been a long way from the finish.



Brian leaves the Bird in Hand, North Curry

Roads are hard on the feet, but you get from A to B with reasonable speed and sometimes see things you would not see on field paths. In our youths the horse and cart was a sign of poverty, but over the years they have turned into rich mens' toys.



Horse and trap on the road to Knapp

From Knapp we made our way to Bird's farm from where the line of descent to the River Tone was obvious and at the bottom we turned right along the minor road to the village of Ham and a footbridge over the river. I was convinced we should turn left, but found myself in a minority of one. After a slow and careful explanation I was finally convinced that everybody else was right, but my sense of direction, which is normally fairly reliable, continued to demand a left turn.



The descent to the River Tone

The Tone rises in the Brendon Hills and flows away from the coast through Taunton (Tone town) and eastwards across Curry Moor. It then reaches the Parrett and discovers that, like me, its sense of direction was sending it the wrong way



The bridge over the River Tone at Ham
(Picture credit Francis)

After the Tone, field paths took us to the railway line which we crossed for the third time that day and the second time by walking directly across the rails. Then we crossed the Bridgewater and Taunton canal, though we used a bridge as not even Francis can walk on water.

 

Over the Bridgwater & Taunton Canal

A gently rising path took us up to Creechwood Terrace, at the north end of Creech St Michael, through another mystery crop. We were able to get a close look at this one and found it soft-stemmed with bamboo-like rings. Although superficially like yesterday’s osiers this was on well drained land and I suspect it was elephant grass destined for a bio-mass power station but, like the osiers, it might be something else.



Mike and Alison approach Creechwood Terrace through what might be elephant grass

A minor road took us across the M5 which we had crossed in the opposite direction in 2010 (Upton-on-Severn to Andoversford) on Day 7. The footpath after the motorway was labelled ' cul-de-sac', which gave us a moment’s pause. Technically the sign was right, the path angled back towards the motorway and came to a full stop at the fence, but on the way it crossed a minor road through the hamlet of Langaller. We were able to pick up that road, and find our way to a field path which would take us the last kilometre to our B & B in West Monkton.
 

Over the M5, again

That should have provided a simple finish to the day but half way up we were distracted by a commotion in the hedge. A magpie was hanging upside down, one claw ensnared in bailer twine tangled round a strand of barbed wire. Every so often it would flap frantically in an effort to break away, then dangle for a while as it built up the energy for another futile bid for freedom.



You never know what sort of dangling bird is going to be just round the corner.

Taking a clasp knife from his pack, Mike leaned into the hedge and grabbed the struggling bird. To me it looked like an excellent way to get pecked, but once he had a firm grip it went still. He picked patiently away at the bailer twine and eventually managed to free it from the wire. It had lost some blood, but appeared largely undamaged by the ordeal. Mike held the bird with two hands while Brian took the knife and removed the bailer twine wrapped round its claw.

That done Mike threw the magpie into the air. Momentarily it seemed confused by its sudden freedom, then flapped up into a tree and, just to prove its feet were undamaged, hopped from branch to branch.

'Last time I used that knife I was cutting a peach,' Mike remarked. Alison suggested it would probably be wise to sterilize it before his next peach.

That was almost the end of the day's excitement, but the path finished at the dual carriageway A38. We had to cross it, which was life-threatening, and then walk along it, though fortunately only for 50m before turning up a side track to our B & B and the end of a long day's walk - which would have been over-long if we had not done the first three kilometres yesterday.

We dined a short drive away at the Monkton Inn where the South African landlord had a menu which included zebra, ostrich and crocodile. Mike had pork, I had a duck breast and everyone else had fish and chips. Ah well, maybe next time.

The South West Odyssey (English Branch)

Introduction

Day 1 to 3 (2008);Cardingmill Valley to Great Whitley

Day 4 to 6 (2009) Great Whitely to Upton-on-Severn via the Malvern Ridge

Day 7 to 9 (2010) Upton-on-Severn to Andoversford
Day 10 (2011) Andoversford to Perrott's Brook

Day 11 (2011) Perrott's Brook to the Round Elm Crossroads

Day 12 (2011) Walking Round Stroud

Day 13 (2012) Stroud to North Nibley

Day 14 (2012) North Nibley to Old Sodbury

Day 15 (2012) Old Sodbury to Swineford

Day 16 (2013) Along the Chew Valley

Day 17 (2013) Over the Mendips to Wells

Day 18 (2013) Wells to Glastonbury 'The Mountain Route'

Day 19 (2014) Glastonbury to Langport

 Day 20 (2014) Along the Parrett and over the Tone

 Day 21 (2014) Into the Quantocks

Day 22 (2015) From the Quantocks to the Sea

Day 23 (2015) Watchet, Dunster and Dunkery Hill

Day 24 (2015) Dunkery Beacon to Withypool
Day 25 (2016) Entering Devon and Leaving Exmoor
Day 26 (2016) Knowstone to Black Dog on the Two Moors Way
Day 27 (2016) Morchard Bishop to Copplestone
Day 28 (2017) Down St Mary to Drewsteignton
Day 29 (2017) Drewsteignton to Bennett's Cross
Day 30 (2017) Bennett's Cross to Lustleigh
Day 31 (2018) Southwest Across the Moor from Lustleigh
Day 32 (2018): South to Ugborough
Day 33 (2018): Ugborough to Ringmore
Day 34 (2019): Around the Avon Estuary to Hope Cove
Day 35 (2019): Hope Cove to Prawle Point
Day 36 (2019): Prawle Point to Start Bay: The End
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The Last Post

That's All Folks - The Odyssey is over

Glastonbury to Langport: Day 19 of the South West Odyssey (English Branch)

The South West Odyssey was a long distance walk.

Five like-minded people started in 2008 from the Cardingmill Valley in Shropshire and by walking three days a year finished at Start Bay on the South Devon Coast in May 2019.

The same dauntless Odysseants gathered at the point where we finished last year for the seventh annual instalment of the South West Odyssey (English Branch). We were joined by Alison and Francis' daughter Heather (as we were on Day 9 into Andoversford,  Day 12 from Perrots Brook, Day 15 to Swineford  , and Day 18 from Wells) and by Vicky, a friend of Heather.



With a faintly bemused air Alison T and Hilary watch the Odysseants boot up and wonder
'Why are they doing this?'

Just west of Glastonbury we hauled on our boots and headed south over the River Brue crossing what I thought last year was the Pomparies Bridge. The sign clearly says ‘Pomparles’ but it is not always easy to distinguish ‘i’ from ‘l’ in the small print of a map. Some claim Pomparles is derived from 'Pont-Perles' (bridge perilous) which has a distinctly Arthurian ring. Before the marshes were drained Glastonbury and Street were islands joined by the Pomparles Bridge which crossed the eastern end of the lake into which Sir Bedevere threw Excalibur after the death of Arthur. Whether the Lady of the Lake appreciates her new drier quarters is not recorded.



Definitely Pomparles Bridge

We turned left over the water meadows north of Street, pausing only when Vicky volunteered to take a team photo with Glastonbury Tor as a backdrop. It was a cool and overcast morning, but it would soon warm up and the gentle sunshine – ideal for walking - would see us all shed our outer clothing within the next hour.


Alison C, Brian, Francis, Mike and Me
with Glastonbury Tor over Alison's right shoulder



For over a kilometre we followed a ditch known as the Old Rhyne over remarkably ordinary field paths considering we were on the edge of the Somerset Levels. Then we followed it down a minor road and across more fields, before turning south-west through wooded country to the village of Butleigh.



Following the Old Rhyne

From a distance we mistook Butleigh Court for the church. Built in 1845, it was the home of the Neville-Grenvilles, a family with an unpronounceable name and a home which boasts umpteen chimneys, all of them different. After the unpronouncables, the house fell on hard times but has recently been restored and divided into apartments. There was an unwelcoming fence and the church, which was part of the estate, did not look the sort of place to provide a bench for dissolute wanderers.



Butleigh Court

We walked into the village and found a pleasant bench on the village green, where we took a short coffee break.

 

Butleigh


From Butleigh a steady but gentle climb first across fields and then up Bolster Lane brought us to a minor road which we crossed to start the wooded descent of Combe Hollow. Despite the winter’s well-publicised inundation we had yet to meet much mud. Combe Hollow changed that. A greasy, slippery, sometimes ankle deep descent allowed me to bespatter my trousers to well above knee level.  I have a particular talent for covering myself in mud, but no one escaped unscathed.



Descending Combe Hollow

Two thirds of the way down was a swing where Francis unexpectedly encountered his inner child.

Francis encounters his inner child

Emerging from the forest we followed a drier lane into Compton Dundon where we planned to drink a glass of lunch at the Castlebrook Inn. We were seven weeks too late, as in March the Castlebrook had joined the ever lengthening list of closed pubs. It is owned by Punch Taverns and some believe that this particular company buys up pubs with the intention of closing them and selling on the site for other uses. I have no idea if this is true, but there is anecdotal evidence.



The late Castlebrook Inn, Compton Dundon 

The loss of our lunchtime drink was no great tragedy for Brian and me as we had consumed a full English at the Unicorn Inn in Somerton, but the others had enjoyed less calorie-packed breakfasts and would have welcomed a bite to eat.

 

A house in Compton Dundon

We thought of stopping in the Post Office to purchase some refreshment, but discovered that was only open from 9 to 12. Once the Post Office was a service and would be open at hours convenient to the public. Now, of course, it is a business.

We perched on some stones for a short break before walking round Dundon Hill to the village of Dundon (no Compton and no pub in recent times - so at least it has not closed). We emerged opposite the church by this rather splendid bank of bluebells. While I am in grumpy old man mode, I might as well point out that these are not traditional British Bluebells but the intrusive Spanish Bluebell.

 

Bluebell bank, Dundon

Crossing the road, we slogged up Lollover Hill. At 90m it is not much of a hill, but it required some effort and I was reduced to a weary plod well before I reached the top - or at least the top of the path which does not quite cross the summit.



I plod wearily to the top of Lollover Hill
(picture credit: Francis)

'I thought these were supposed to be the Somerset Levels,' Mike observed half way up. He seemed to have a point, but then we came over the shoulder of the hill and emerged from the wood.



The Somerset Levels from Lollover Hill


These are the Somerset Levels, and the word is plural. There are more than one of them and they are separated by ridges and dotted with what were once islands - and during this winter's prolonged floods, became islands again. 'Somerset' means 'summer meadows', the inference being you could not expect to use them in the winter.



Mke and Alison descend Lollover Hill

We did not descend straight to the levels but looped round the end of the hill and through a farm yard. Some farms are arable, some have animals, others are mixed, but occasionally you encounter one which specialises in farming shit*.

There were two big slurry ponds, both of them empty, their contents liberally and pungently spread over the surrounding area. At the point photographed we were sinking into what appeared to be a ploughed area and started to wonder if we might be walking over the crust off something deeply unpleasant. A swift dash for the sanctuary of a grassy bank seemed appropriate.



Mike might be about to sink into something unpleasant

Eventually we reached the Levels and walked down a farm lane beside an unfamiliar crop. Somerset produces reeds for thatching and osiers for basket making, which remains a craft industry in these parts. I think these are osiers but I am far from certain.

 

Willow osiers?

On the other side of the road a small bird was singing its heart out. Francis opined that it was either a reed or a sedge warbler, it was definitely warbling and perhaps the 'osiers' were 'sedge' - though I think not. Although it was less than a metre away it remained frustratingly invisible in the nettle covered bank.

The field of osiers, if such they were, ended at Somerton Door Bridge over the River Cary. The bridge is relatively modern and leads onto a minor road. Turning west we walked for a kilometre and a half along the bank of the Cary, pausing for a breather at the older and more picturesque Park Bridge.



Heather on Park Bridge over the River Cary

We crossed the River at Pitney Steart Bridge and headed south to Leazemoor Lane and the site of a Roman villa. This was not the first site of a villa we have passed on the Odyssey, but we have yet to actually sight a villa.

Crossing Leazemoor Lane we followed a lengthy track aptly called Underwood Lane. Pitney Wood was above us to our left while a large apple orchard lay on our right. We had walked through an orchard last year, but the cold winter had meant the trees were merely considering the possibility of blossom, after this year's milder, if wetter, weather they were close to full bloom.



Apples orchard by Underhill Lane

We followed the lane round the end of the wood and then over field paths up Culver Hill before following a minor road into the village of Pict's Hill to what had originally been the finishing point for the day. The previous evening, over beer and curry, we had decided to move the finish some three kilometres further down the route to provide better parking for Mike's motorhome. Beer fuelled bravado does not always lead to good decisions, but although I was quite ready to stop at Pict's Hill, it turned out to be a wise move in the light of the next day's walk (and for Mike's parking).

We followed Union Drove across the railway and arrived at Huish Episcopi, where the Rose and Crown was open. Hilary and Alison T were already waiting at the end of the walk, so stopping was, sadly, out of the question.

Huish derives from the old English for household and Episcopi refers to the manor once being owned by the bishop of Bath and Wells. Why it could not be called simple Bishops Huish like anywhere else I do not know. The church is large with a classic 30m high Somerset Tower.



St Mary's, Huish Episcopi

We made our way down to the River Parrett and followed it round the southern edge of Langport which likes to style itself ‘Heart of the Levels’. Langport’s church has another Somerset Tower, but less finely decorated. The two churches are only 500m apart but being on higher ground the town church seems to look down on its village neighbour. It was St Mary’s, Huish Episcopi, though, that was featured by the Royal Mail in their 1972 stamps of village churches.
 

Beside the River Parrett, with the tower of Langport Church right of centre


We met Hilary and Alison T at the western end of Langport, at the finale of a lengthy but very pleasant first day.

*At this point I discovered that my new Kindle Fire not only has a rather limited dictionary - I frequently have to add words - but it is also rather prim. Yesterday it did not recognise 'hell' and now I have just had to teach it 'shit'.

The South West Odyssey (English Branch)

Introduction

Day 1 to 3 (2008);Cardingmill Valley to Great Whitley

Day 4 to 6 (2009) Great Whitely to Upton-on-Severn via the Malvern Ridge

Day 7 to 9 (2010) Upton-on-Severn to Andoversford
Day 10 (2011) Andoversford to Perrott's Brook

Day 11 (2011) Perrott's Brook to the Round Elm Crossroads

Day 12 (2011) Walking Round Stroud

Day 13 (2012) Stroud to North Nibley

Day 14 (2012) North Nibley to Old Sodbury

Day 15 (2012) Old Sodbury to Swineford

Day 16 (2013) Along the Chew Valley

Day 17 (2013) Over the Mendips to Wells

Day 18 (2013) Wells to Glastonbury 'The Mountain Route'

Day 19 (2014) Glastonbury to Langport

 Day 20 (2014) Along the Parrett and over the Tone

 Day 21 (2014) Into the Quantocks

Day 22 (2015) From the Quantocks to the Sea

Day 23 (2015) Watchet, Dunster and Dunkery Hill

Day 24 (2015) Dunkery Beacon to Withypool
Day 25 (2016) Entering Devon and Leaving Exmoor
Day 26 (2016) Knowstone to Black Dog on the Two Moors Way
Day 27 (2016) Morchard Bishop to Copplestone
Day 28 (2017) Down St Mary to Drewsteignton
Day 29 (2017) Drewsteignton to Bennett's Cross
Day 30 (2017) Bennett's Cross to Lustleigh
Day 31 (2018) Southwest Across the Moor from Lustleigh
Day 32 (2018): South to Ugborough
Day 33 (2018): Ugborough to Ringmore
Day 34 (2019): Around the Avon Estuary to Hope Cove
Day 35 (2019): Hope Cove to Prawle Point
Day 36 (2019): Prawle Point to Start Bay: The End
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The Last Post

That's All Folks - The Odyssey is over



Glastonbury: 12 Questions with the Answer 'No'

A Small Town with a Unique Personality

Glasto: An Intro

Somerset

This post is not about the Glastonbury festival, it's about the town of Glastonbury. I have nothing against the festival, in fact I am all for it, but this post is not about it.

Last May, Day 18 of the South West Odyssey took us over Pennard Hill and, we looked down on the festival site and the half completed Pyramid Stage, before walking on to finish at Glastonbury.

Glastonbury Festival site from Pennard Hill (May 2013)

Our route took us over Glastonbury Tor, so this post is not about that either - I wrote about it last year. But I cannot ignore it, partly because it is visible from all over the town and partly because the tor is a strange and some would say mystic place, and 'strange and mystic' are the two words that best characterise Glastonbury.

The tor is visible from all over town, Glastonbury (May 2013)

I arrived on the 2nd of May, it was not a date I chose, merely one that fitted between other commitments. Had I arrived a day earlier I could have enjoyed the town's Beltane festivities. Glastonbury is that sort of town.

At first sight the main street looks like that of any small Somerset town with a mixture of old stone and brick buildings,….

Glastonbury High Street

…. a small market place, though I had clearly not arrived on market day….

Glastonbury Market Square

…. and a large parish church.

St John the Baptist, Glastonbury

But it also has the ruins of a once prosperous Abbey which, along with the tor, have made Glastonbury a town about which many questions can be asked, all of them with the answer 'no'.

Glastonbury Abbey

I started in the Abbey.

Joseph of Arimathea

The first church on the site was built by Joseph of Arimathea who was the uncle of Jesus as well as the donor of his tomb. He arrived with a bunch of disciples in 63AD and they lived a life of great piety and simplicity. He planted his staff which grew into the thorn tree that can still be seen at the Abbey to this day.

Joseph of Arimathea's Holy Thorn Tree, Glastonbury Abbey

Joseph of Arimathea among the Rocks of Albion
William Blake

Sadly for this story the very brief biblical mentions of Joseph say that a) he was a good man and b) he had a spare tomb. Nothing else is known about him.

So, Question 1: Did Joseph of Arimathea found the first church in Glastonbury? Answer: no.

Question 2: Individual thorn trees do not live two thousand years but is it possible that the current tree was been grown from a cutting of a cutting of……. the staff of a wandering ancient Palestinian? Again, no.

In another story Joseph was a tin merchant and regular visitor to these shores. On one trip he brought along his young nephew, the future Messiah.

Question 3, as posed by William Blake: 'And did those feet in ancient time walk upon England's mountains green?' No they didn’t.

St Patrick

Saint Patrick visited Glastonbury in the 5th century and observed that when the first Christians arrived a church already existed that could have been made by no mortal hand.

Question 4: Did St Patrick come to Glastonbury? No.

The Lady Chapel, Glastonbury Abbey

Question 5: Did the first Christians find a miraculous church ready and waiting for them? No.

The first church was probably built in the 7th century by the local Celtic population. By 658 when Cenwalh, King of Wessex brought Somerset under Saxon control, there was already a thriving monastery. It was further endowed by King Ine who ordered the building of the first stone church in 712.

Inside the Lady Chapel, Glastonbury

Miraculous Statues

The wealthy monastery was a great prize to the invading Normans and in 1086, according to the Domesday Book, Glastonbury was the richest abbey in the country. Unfortunately the church burned down in 1184; only a single wooden statute of the infant Jesus in his mother's lap survived. This was clearly a miracle, doubly so when the wooden infant was seen to clap his hands. Sadly, the much venerated statue was lost several centuries ago.

The remains of the monastery, Glastonbury Abbey

Question 6: Did a wooden statute of the infant Jesus clap its hands? No.

The Grave of King Arthur

Despite the pilgrims, and money, brought in by the clapping Christ child, the Abbey needed more money for its ambitious building programme. Excavating in their own graveyard, the monks were amazed to find coffins labelled with the names of King Arthur and Queen Guinevere. The bodies were reinterred by the high altar, the pilgrims flocked to Glastonbury and the money rolled in.

Question 7: Were Arthur and Guinevere buried in Glastonbury Abbey? No. The cynical and shameless marketing ploy is not a new invention.

And on the same subject, Question 8: Is The Tor the actual site of the legendary Isle of Avalon? No.

The Tor from Glastonbury Abbey

All that is known of Arthur from contemporary sources (and in this instance contemporary means four centuries later) is that he fought at the Battle of Badon and was killed at the Battle of Camlann. Neither of these battle sites have been identified but it is conjectured that Arthur was a Romano-Celtic kinglet resisting Saxon incursions. The rest of what we 'know' about Arthur comes from Geoffrey of Monmouth (1110-1155) who claimed to be writing history, but nobody believed him even then, and from Thomas Mallory (died 1451). The distinction between fiction and non-fiction was not well established then, but Mallory never claimed not to be writing fiction.

The current site marked as the burial place of Arthur is in the ruins of the Abbey Church a few metres in front of where the high altar once stood. The ‘actual’ burial site was lost during the dissolution of the monastery, so this picture is of a fake of a fake.

Alleged Grave of King Arthur, Glastonbury Abbey

The Dissolution of the Monasteries came to Glastonbury in 1539. Today the site is green and calm with the sad, dignified beauty that only ruins can have. What is left are only fragments of the fine buildings that once stood here, but they are well preserved and interpreted, the vestiges of the old walls being made clearly visible in the grass.

The remains of the transept, Glastonbury Abbey

The Chapel of St Patrick and Statue of Sigiric

The medieval chapel of St Patrick, standing behind 'Joseph of Arimathea’s thorn tree,' was built to serve a set of alms-houses lining the monastery wall. The alms-houses have gone, but the chapel has recently been restored with modern stained glass by Wayne Ricketts and brightly coloured murals in medieval style.

St Patrick's Chapel, Wayne Ricketts windows

Outside is a bronze of Sigeric by Heather Burnley. I like the sculpture, though I do not know the story it represents, nor do I understand why Sigeric has been so honoured. Educated and ordained at Glastonbury he went on to be Archbishop of Canterbury, but his main claim to fame was to have advised Æthelred the Unready to pay off the Danes to stop them ravaging the countryside. Unsurprisingly, the Danes took the money, went away, and then came back for more. ‘Unready’ is a mistranslation of ‘unræd' meaning ‘ill-advised’. Well done Sigeric

Sigeric by Heather Burnley, St Patrick's Chapel, Glastonbury Abbey

The Abbot's Kitchen

The 14th century Abbot's kitchen has survived and reopened last month after extensive restoration. It is tricked out with a plastic meal while plastic pigs and fowls rotate on the spits.

The Abbot's Kitchen, Glastonbury Abbey

The visitor centre/museum is light and well set out. Glastonbury Abbey enjoys its myths and they are all rehearsed, but properly acknowledged as myths. For the true believers you have to venture outside.

New Age Glastonbury

The streets of Glastonbury were busy with school partiesfrom France and Germany, tourists from all over the world and local people, a significant number of whom could be said to stand out. Glastonbury is the gathering place for those who believe, in Joni Mitchell’s words, that 'We are star dust, we are golden.' They may be busy trying to 'get themselves back to the garden' but the New Age flummery has a hard business edge.

Many shops have stickers warning that they are protected by witchcraft. One, called the 'Cat and Cauldron,' has a board outside promising 'tarot card readings today.'

The Cat & Cauldron, Glastonbury

Question 9: Do tarot cards, horoscopes, crystal balls or any other method of divining the future actually work. No, they don’t.

There are shops called The Mystic Garden, Moon Mirrors,.....

The Mystic Garden and Moon Mirrors, Glastonbury

Lilith, The Goddess and the Green Man, Enlightenment, Natural Earthling......

Natural Earthling, Glastonbury

....and even one called Get Real which, does not really apply in Glastonbury opposite.

Get Real, Glastonbury

Question 10: Could I be healed, assuming I needed healing, by the power of crystals, the realigning of my chakras, the adjustment of my aura or by any other therapy that cannot explain how it works? No.

Sprigs that Run Red and the Holy Grail

I did not have time to visit the Chalice Well. The well is surrounded, I have read, by beautiful and peaceful gardens popular with neopagans – and other people. The waters of the spring gush red and as Glastonbury is associated with Joseph of Arimathea, who once (allegedly) guarded the Holy Grail, and King Arthur, whose knights sought it, any fool could work out that this is where the Holy Grail is secreted.

Question 11: Are the waters of Chalice Well red from the blood of Christ, or possibly from the rusty nails of the cross? No, they are red because they come through from a stratum of iron ore under Pennard Hill.

Question 12: Will the Holy Grail be found somewhere in the Glastonbury area. No, no and thrice no.

For a reality check you can visit the Glastonbury Lake Village Museum hidden in the recesses of the tourist information centre, at least you can if you turn up on time. I arrived as it closed so I never got to see it. It contains artefacts from a crannog excavated a few miles north of the town, though the site has now been re-covered to preserve it. Glastonbury’s Iron Age inhabitants were neither stupid nor unsophisticated, yet they were further 'removed from the garden' than the town's modern inhabitants, many living lives that were nasty, brutish and short. They were, though, the real people of Somerset and the ancestors of many of us.

I am a devout sceptic, but not a cynic, and I hope I have not given the impression that I dislike Glastonbury. The town has its own style and in a perverse way I admire the new age traders, while maintaining my belief that they are clueless. There is room for everybody in this world and if Glastonbury has rather more than its fair share of oddities, then good luck to them.